First of all, who is Uncle Milton? Well, Uncle Milton is the founder of an exclusive ant farm club that ant farm lovers can join to express their love for ants and all things ant farms. The benefit of having a membership in this exclusive hipster organization became all too apparent one afternoon back in East Lansing when a few friends and I decided to head to the bar for a day of drunken goodness.
Being in a bar surrounded by beautiful women, my good friend Mr. Zach Walworth decided that this would be an excellent opportunity to show off his well-founded relationship with Uncle Milton and Uncle Milton’s wonderful ant farm club. As a registered member, Zach happened to have his club card in his wallet. After a few drinks, he began walking around the bar showing off his membership ID to many of the attractive girls present. Of course, as one could expect, these girls could not appreciate the magnitude of “hip-ness” that was to be had by hooking with Zach and spending the night with a well established player in the world of ant farms.
After many attempts with the ladies, Mr. Walworth decided to roll up the card (which happened to be paper) and smoke it. His membership went up in flames…
Anyways, I present to you the ultimate ant farm. And in case Zach ever decides to re-enter the wonderful world of ant farms, he will no longer need to turn to Uncle Milton to get him the ladies, he can now instead carry around a glowy blue ant farm. That should do the trick.